The Best Damn Thing
by Xavier Ching
Summary: Hermione Blaise The Best Damn Thing ! Even though I was inspired Avril Lavigne's song, this is not a song fic!


48. The Best Damn Thing

It was another average Saturday. The blazing sun showered its orange ray evenly onto the floor of Diagon Alley. Under the vast beach parasol owned by the Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, there was a young couple which previously stirred the magical population. No one on Earth could believe that, the notorious Slytherin ladies' man, Blaise Zabini, would be in an open relationship with the equally renowned Gryffindor heroine, Hermione Granger. One good year after the announcement of their relationship status, the couple, well, contrary to popular belief, was even more in love with each other.

Every weekend, Blaise went to Diagon Alley or the Hogsmeade with Hermione. At the moment, Blaise was sharing a Chocolate Frog plus Butterbeer Sundae with Hermione.

'This Sundae tastes better than the Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans plus chocolate ice cream, doesn't it?' Blaise commented. His gaze drifted from the Sundae to Hermione.

Apparently, Hermione did not hear him, since she did not give him any response. Looking from her direction, Blaise noticed that she was observing the kids next table.

Her eyes glued on the mischievous children. The kids wanted more ice cream. When their mum did not pay attention to her bowl, the children smuggled one full spoon of vanilla ice cream to their bowl. Hermione chuckled airily at their naughtiness.

'Hey,' Blaise tried to have her attention. But Hermione did not catch his call. She smiled even more widely when the kids beamed victoriously. Her motherly smile made him beam as well.

'Hey,' Blaise chuckled and wrapped his arms around Hermione.

Hermione was a bit startled but immediately relaxed into his embrace. Her eyes still swam between Blaise and the children.

'You're fascinated by kids?' Blaise asked.

'No,' she denied tersely.

'Nah, your gaze literally sticks there,' Blaise rolled his eyes.

'No,' she frowned a little.

'You love kids,' Blaise chortled.

'Perhaps I do like watching them,' she gave in.

'Well, we can make our own kids,' he smirked.

'N-O no,' she stated sternly and pushed away his arms.

_Four months later…_

It was another average Wednesday. Well, at least that was what Blaise and Hermione had anticipated.

Blaise stirred a bit in bed. Sunshine peered through the blinds of their bedroom and prickled his eyes. He turned to the other side to check on Hermione.

She was not there!

'Hermione?' Blaise called.

Hush.

'Hermione? He called again. He began to panic.

Hush.

'Hermione!' he shouted frantically.

'Yes?' Hermione's croaked voice replied.

Blaise sighed heavily in relief. She freaked him out. He sprinted to the washroom.

Hermione was sweaty and pale. She looked awful.

'Are you alright?' Blaise enquired with immense concern.

'No, I'm nauseated but I can't throw up,' Hermione replied feebly.

Blaise offered to carry her to the bedroom but Hermione turned down tenderly.

'I'm going to work,' Hermione said to Blaise weakly.

'No, you go to St Mungo now,' he demanded, 'no objection. Well, I'm going with you anyway.'

'You're so sweet,' she smiled faintly, 'I can go on my own.'

'I'm not sure if –'

'Yes, I'm fine.'

'Alright.'

Blaise kissed her goodbye before Apparating to work.

_In the evening…_

Blaise Apparated home to find Hermione in the study, reading, as usual. He was kind of relieved to see that she was behaving normally.

'You feel better now?' Blaise enquired before trying to peck on her lips.

She evaded the kiss!

'Damn you scoundrel!' she shouted and her voice went out of tune. She punched his chest, causing Blaise to step backward.

'What's that for?' he asked incredulously with widened eyes. Hermione never swore at him or hit him.

'I don't want this damn thing,' she beckoned forcefully at her belly, 'I want my life!'

An expression of heavenly bliss emerged from Blaise's face.

'We have a baby!' Blaise exclaimed with utmost thrill and ecstasy.

'I – DON'T – WANT – THIS – DAMN – THING!' she screamed with agitation, emphasising every word.

Blaise gawked.

'AND – DAMN – YOU – BLAISE – ZABINI!' she screamed at the top of her lung.

Blaise was dumbfounded by Hermione's behaviour.

'What the hell did you do?' she interrogated furiously. She glared at Blaise venomously.

'No, I didn't do anything except shagging you,' he lied with his best pretend innocent puppy eyes.

'I want the truth, you damn liar!' she cried, throwing cushion at her boyfriend.

'Well – I –' he stuttered timidly, but not without happiness.

'THE TRUTH!' Hermione shouted breathlessly.

'Well – it was like that…' Blaise recalled…

_Three months ago…_

Blaise always wanted to have children. Plus, he knew Hermione wanted that too. Just that she refused to admit or to realise her desire. The cunning Slytherin came up with a genius plan which was executed on his birthday. The crucial part of his plot was Felix Felicis.

Before going home to have candlelit dinner prepared by Hermione, Blaise drank a suitable amount of Liquid Luck. Things went smoothly. They had a wonderful romantic candlelit dinner. They danced a bit. And then they kissed. Kissing became snogging. They undressed each other and were ready to shag.

Usually, Hermione must remind Blaise to cast the Anti-Pregnancy Charm. But that night was special. Hermione forgot that! Wanting a kid so badly, Blaise, no doubt, would not breathe a word of it.

Blaise knew his plot was rather dangerous. He had to try that, though, if he wanted a baby for him and Hermione.

So Blaise and Hermione made love without any safety precaution.

_Now…_

'…that's how we made our baby,' he finished with his smirk.

'Damn you!' Hermione cussed.

'Don't be mad, Hermione,' he tried to calm her. He boldly attempted to hug her but was threatened by a wand at his chest.

'I said I did _not_ want a baby,' she pointed out sharply, 'but see what you did!'

'I did a great job,' he smiled cheekily.

'Yes, you ruined Hermione Granger's once splendid life,' she snapped heatedly.

'No, I swear you'll be happy with our baby,' he pretended to be serious.

'I will _not_ be happy with this damn thing,' she responded coldly.

'C'mon, darling,' he sweet-talked.

She sighed dejectedly and sat down.

'I'll be really mean to this damn thing, I swear,' she pouted.

Blaise grasped the time to envelop her into his embrace. The result was good, he would say, because she did not pull away.

'No, you're my kind-hearted Hermione,' he faltered and kissed her forehead, 'you're kind to house elves, gnomes, goblins… you'll be extraordinarily kind to our baby.'

'The baby is solely _yours_,' she snapped coldly, 'if I could, I'd just stuff it into _your_ damn tummy.'

After that heated row, Hermione seemed to have accepted the fact that she bore a baby, as Blaise observed.

Even though, Hermione still called the baby 'this damn thing', she would chuckle when she felt its tiny feet beating her belly. Sometimes, Blaise caught Hermione reading aloud _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_, some muggle stories, erm, something like _The Sleeping Pretty_ and _Cindriella_. Every time he asked if she was telling the baby a story, she would say she was reading for herself and she would never read aloud for 'this damn thing'.

Whilst Hermione's fondness of the baby grew, Blaise started to contemplate other stuff. Hermione was a stubborn witch. Blaise desired to pin her down for his entire life by popping the question. Yet, when Blaise talked about the 'M' word, Hermione always withdrew from the discussion deadly. Blaise simply had to come up with another plan to have her marry him.

_Seven months later…_

'Damn you Zabini!' Hermione screamed. Her voice should be loud enough to pierce Blaise's eardrums.

Actually Blaise wanted to scream too, given that Hermione's nails were deep into his flesh. He wouldn't scream though. His – um – feeling was nothing compared to Hermione's current agony.

'Keep going darling,' the midwife encouraged maternally, 'you're doing very well.'

Hermione fully utilised her strength to push.

'I can see the head now,' the midwife informed happily.

Blaise smiled hugely.

'Don't you smile Zabini!' Hermione cried, 'damn YOU!'

With that force, she eventually squeezed the baby out.

'It's a girl!' Blaise shouted blissfully, 'our girl, Hermione!'

Hermione beamed at the newborn girl and Blaise before fainted over because of fatigue. Blaise tucked away her sweaty brown locks and kissed her lips.

When Hermione was still asleep, Blaise decided to carry out his dirty plan of marrying Hermione. If he asked her, she must say no. So the only chance would be… Blaise smirked at that thought…

Hermione woke up four hours after giving birth. She immediately demanded to see her daughter.

'You just love her, Hermione,' Blaise smirked triumphantly, 'you'll be a wonderful mum.'

'But you'll be a dreadful dad,' Hermione pouted, 'I'll tell our daughter how cheeky you are.'

At that moment, the nurse brought the girl to her parents.

'Oh my gosh!' Hermione exclaimed, reaching for her baby, 'you're my best damn thing, Demi.' And she tenderly kissed the infant.

'Demi?' Blaise prompted.

'Yes, her name is Demi. No objection,' Hermione glared at Blaise.

'I never object!' Blaise defended, 'and Demi Zabini sounds marvellous.'

'Who says her last name must be Zabini?' Hermione questioned in a pretend angry tone.

Harry, Ginny, Ron and Draco walked in right after Hermione completed the question.

'There's no doubt about that, I assume,' Ginny gazed at Hermione and raised her eyebrow.

The four took turn to hug Hermione and Blaise.

'I never say this scoundrel is Demi's father,' Hermione pouted, 'plus, I'm not married to him.'

'Well – you _will_ be married to me one year later,' Blaise smirked victoriously.

'What the hell are you talking about?' Hermione glared at her soon-to-be hubby incredulously.

'You're wearing the engagement ring already,' Blaise prompted gleefully.

'No – no – I'm not –' Hermione faltered. Her brows furrowed tightly.

'Yes, you _are_,' Ginny assured with a chuckle.

Harry, Ron and Draco all nodded and snickered.

Hermione checked her ring finger to find a diamond ring securely there.

'Blaise Zabini!' Hermione shouted frantically.

'Yes, _Mrs Zabini_?' Blaise replied cheekily.

The four burst into laughter.

'What have you done?' Hermione asked testily.

'Just before you're awake, I managed to put the ring onto your ring finger,' Blaise smirked.

'I refuse to marry you, Zabini,' Hermione snapped.

'You'll need a father for your baby and a hubby for yourself,' Blaise looked at Hermione with his best puppy eyes.

'Don't look at me this way,' Hermione's determination of being mad at Blaise melted.

Blaise smirked as he had foreseen his success.

'So you'll be Mrs Zabini then?' Blaise confirmed.

'Yes, Mr Zabini,' Hermione sighed with a bittersweet smile.

Blaise instantly kissed her full in the mouth. Their four friends clapped and whooped.

'Demi, I'm sorry to get a scoundrel to be your father,' Hermione said to her baby, 'if anyone ever does to you what your dad did to me, I'll hex him to hell.'

'No worry, Demi,' Blaise told his daughter, 'no one's as clever as your dad. No one except me can deceive your mum this way.'

'Damn you, Mr Zabini,' Hermione chuckled at her future hubby.

'My pleasure to be cursed, Mrs Zabini,' Blaise chortled at his future wife.


End file.
